Kids, lots of people have them, most people shouldn't. Too many people are too damn stupid to be having kids. Then there's the other segment of the population which is just too f---ed up to be having children. The following list is a public service for those of you who are contemplating children.

• If you have mental problems then you shouldn't have kids. You sure as hell aren't doing those kids any favors by raising them while being a frickin' nutjob.
• If you have a problem with lying or cheating then you shouldn't procreate. What the hell kind of example are you setting by being a dishonest ass monkey?
• If you think that catering to your child's whims is a good idea then you totally shouldn't be having kids. In fact you should probably be beaten for being a moron. You are the parent. It is your responsibility to teach and raise your child, not to be their servant.
• If you whine and bitch about your life all of the time you shouldn't have kids. If your life sucks so much then why the heck would you want to subject a child to it?
• If you have problems keeping from going mental then you probably shouldn't have kids. Children are exasperating and require much effort. They drive even the sanest people mental at times so just think how crazy that will make you.
• If you are already mental then you probably shouldn't have kids. How are you planning on making rational decisions about your children when you aren't capable of being rational about your own life?
• If you are an idiot you don't need to spread your idiocy by having children. There are far too many morons on this planet already. We don't need any more.
• If you think that reasoning with a two year old is the proper way to teach them not to do something bad then you shouldn't have children. Two year old children are capable of many things but following a line of reasoning to reach a conclusion about the rightness of something is a bit beyond them. Saying "Now do you think that was very nice to do" to chastize a two year old is not the proper way to teach a child. Does that work with a cat or dog? No, and it won't work with a small child either.
• If you have had a ton of health problems then you probably shouldn't have kids. 1, you might continue to have health problems which means you won't be able to adequately care for your kids. 2, your kids may inherit your fine physiology and have lots of health problems of their own.
• If you spill hot coffee on yourself and your first thought is to sue the restaurant where you got the coffee then you definitely shouldn't have kids. You are an idiot who doesn't know what personal responsibility is. There's far, far too many people like you already so there's no need for you to propagate your line.

I'll bet this raises the question in your mind of whether I'm planning on having kids or not. The answer to that is no. I'm just sane enough to realize that I'm not particularly well-grounded in reality. In fact if I was to have a child Genma Saotome of Ranma 1/2 would be my role model for a father. I can easily see that this wouldn't be a good thing. Tying your child up in fish sausage and dropping them in a pit of cats as Genma does is not an example of good parenting. Hence, I won't be having any kids.